Choices
by Marish89
Summary: When Elliot is forced to make a lifealtering decision, will he regret the choice he makes? Or does another solution present itself? ElliotOlivia Romance and Angst.
1. Chapter 1

I look at the beautiful person laying next to me. She was gorgeous. Long brown hair, deep, dark brown eyes, perfect skin and a figure to die for. She was amazing and best of all, she was mine. She was my girl-friend and I was madly in love with her, as I had been for the past few years, even when married.

I realized when I loved her the moment that she had offered me advice on my failing marriage. I had somehow sensed that she loved me and the pain that came with trying to make me happy with someone else. She'd tried to make me happy despite the pain it would cause her. I realized how much I loved her then, and had made no attempt to fix my failing marriage. I looked down at her, lying comfortably in my arms and wondered what I had done right to get such a beautiful woman to love me so unconditionally.

I gently rolled over and took her into my arms. She sighed contentedly and snuggled closer into my firm embrace. Softly, I bent down and brought my lips to hers. She once again sighed and returned the kiss, just as softly. Before I knew it, we were both awake and very active. I rolled her under me as our tongues fought for dominance and our hands caressed each other's bodies before ending in a flurry of excitement.

When I slowly pulled out of her, I felt her snuggle further into my embrace.

"I love you," she whispered quietly.

"I love you too," I replied before we both fell asleep once more.

A few hours later I was awakened by the sound of my telephone ringing.

"Stabler," I answered.

"Elliot. It's Kathy. I need to talk to you about the kids."

"When? Where?" I asked, getting nervous.

"The house, in an hour."

"Okay."

I hung up and turned to the woman lying next to me that had woken up during the conversation.

"What's up, El?"

"Kathy. She needs to talk about the kids. An hour, in Queens. I need to get ready."

She nodded and we both left the bed. I headed to the shower while she headed to the kitchen to make breakfast.

"Honey," she called about 15 minutes later, "Breakfast's ready!"

"Coming," I called in return.

I quickly clothed myself and hurried out to the kitchen, savoring the wonderful smell that came from the plates.

We ate quickly and before I left I kissed her relishing in the feeling of her soft lips against mine.

"Love you," I said to her before I left.

"Love you too!" she called after me.

I met my wife at my old house in Queens. Feeling extremely strange, I rung the bell and waited for the door to open. When it did, my ex-wife invited me inside, leading me to the lounge room.

"What's up?" I asked, waiting anxiously for the news.

"I'm moving to California and since I have sole custody, the kids are coming with me. I just thought I would let you know." My ex-wife told me, looking at her hands and not my face.

"Kath. What! Why?" I stuttered, "How am I supposed to see them?"

"Move with us. Come to California, we can start over."

"But Kathy, I can't just leave my job, my friends, Olivia."

"Ah," she sighed angrily, "It always comes down to the slut."

"Don't call her that!" I replied angrily.

"I'll call her whatever I want. You have to make a choice. Either your kids or Olivia." She paused, "We leave in three days."

With that statement, she led me out the door, while I stared into space. How was I supposed to choose. My kids or the love of my life?


	2. Chapter 2

I arrived back home and was greeted with a loving kiss from my girlfriend. I had made the decision but I didn't know how to break it.

"Liv, we need to talk," I said seriously, and she looked at me, suddenly frightened.

"What's wrong? What did Kathy want? Is something wrong with the kids? Are –" She broke off when I raised my hand to silence her.

"Kathy told me something about the kids and I have come to a decision and it affects you." I started solemnly, while I took her hand in mine, savoring the sensation.

"She's moving to California and taking the kids with her. I decided to move as well. I'm really sorry, Liv. But I can't leave my kids, you know I love you but –" Now I was interrupted by her voice.

"El, I understand." She paused, trying to collect herself, as tears streamed down her cheeks, "When do you leave?"

"Three days," I muttered, feeling a distinctive prick behind my eyes.

"El, I'll miss you." She said, as she lay her head on my chest, letting her tears soak my shirt.

"I'll miss you too, Liv. I love you," I whispered into her hair as we came to terms with the fact that this would be one of the last days that I would ever see her.

"I'll love you forever." She said brokenly, crying into my shirt. I couldn't help it, I began to cry also.

For the following three days, we spent as much time together as possible, both of us savoring the sensations we thought we would never feel again. On the last night we were together, we made love, both crying at the finality and acceptance that this was the last time.

The following morning both of us awoke early, wanting to spend as much time together as possible. We lay in each others embrace, not saying anything but conveying everything in the silence.

"Come on, we have to get up. You're plane leaves in two hours." Liv said as she reluctantly got out of my embrace, desperately trying to contain the emotions that were bursting to break free.

I showered and we ate breakfast in silence, knowing there were no words to convey the pain we were both feeling.

I lifted my suitcases down the stairs and headed down to her car. We talked on the way to the airport, our hands remaining clasped and our fingers intertwined. As we arrived, I reluctantly got out of the car, waiting for Liv to do the same.

"Liv," I said gently, noting she wasn't making any movement to get out.

"I can't El. I can't." she said emotionally, and I couldn't deny the fact as tears streaked down my cheeks matching hers.

"Please, Liv. I need to see you."

She nodded and got out of the car, almost falling into my embrace. She buried her head into my shoulder and once again, I felt her tears soak through my shirt. I didn't care, she was in pain, she could cry. Briefly I wondered how she could be so accepting of the situation but I quickly realized that it was just who she was. She always put other people in front of her and she always hid the pain it caused. This was the first time she allowed someone to see her pain and I silently thanked her for the trust she placed in me to see that.

We walked into the airport and strode past security and such, showing ID to go through metal detectors. Olivia spotted the kids and Kathy standing together at the gate. She motioned to leave, and I quietly whispered in her ear, "The kids would love to see you."

She shook her head silently and through her tears stated, "This is hard enough. Please El."

I couldn't bear that she was in so much pain and I almost turned around then and there. I nodded and leant down to kiss her softly. A kiss full of love, understanding and most of all trust. Trust that neither of us would be forgotten.

Before she could leave, Lizzie spotted her and ran over.

"Livia," she yelled excitedly, wrapping her arms around Liv's waist. She looked down at the little girl and hugged her back, whispering something in her ear, which I later found out to be "Take care of him for me." She nodded solemnly and motioned for the rest of the kids to join her.

Each of them hugged her and she whispered different messages in their ears while tears began to collect in their eyes. Kathy looked on, looking both pleased and pained at what was going on.

Before we knew it, our flight was called and my kids said a final fair well to Olivia and followed Kathy on the plane. I turned toward her, "I love you," she whispered softly kissing my lips again.

"I love you. I promise I won't forget you, Liv. I'll never move on." I vowed.

"El, please. For me, try to move on." I shook my head in disagreement, "I'll love you forever," she said through her tears, "I won't forget you, never." She said and kissed my lips gently again and disappeared. I tried to look around for her, but she was no where to be seen. Sadly, I boarded the flight to California, my heart having never felt so heavy and broken.


	3. Chapter 3

"I won't forget you, never." I kissed him once more before I left.

I disappeared before he could say anything. I couldn't do it anymore. I ran to the ladies bathroom and sat on the floor, sobbing almost hysterically. It wasn't until I heard a familiar voice, that I stopped to notice, that I had been crying for over three hours.

"Liv," Casey asked, gently, "What happened?"

"He left." Was all I could say. No one knew we had been dating. Cragen must have suspected when Elliot asked him for his papers to be transferred to the LAPD and I requested the same days off, but no one had proof.

"Who left?" she asked, just as gently.

"Elliot," I sobbed harder at the mention of his name.

"Come on. Let's get you home." She said as I let her lead me through the airport. I let the tears fall, making no effort to stop them on the way back to the apartment.

We pulled up and Casey gently pulled me out and lead me to my apartment, seating me on the sofa, that just hours ago had held both Elliot and I. At the thought of Elliot, I sobbed harder unable to stop the flood of tears that came with a broken heart. Casey moved to my kitchen and got me some water and sleeping tablets which I took readily, wanting nothing more than to forget the day my heart shattered.

As I slipped into a deep slumber, I didn't catch Casey dialing Cragen's number.

"Cragen,"

"Don, it's Casey."

"What's wrong? Is this about the Fitzgerald rape because –"

"Don, Elliot left and Liv's crying. I gave her some sleeping tablets and she's asleep now. I know that she'll probably want to go to work tomorrow but can you tell the guys to be a little sensitive."

"Sure. Thanks Casey."

With that they hung up, and Casey moved to sleep beside the heart-broken woman sleeping on the couch, dreaming of her love.

The following morning, I got up and looked around the apartment. Nothing had changed, everything looked just like it had the previous day, the day when Elliot was still with me. Hoping that it was all a dream, I looked down at the floor, where I saw to my horror, our ADA sleeping. It wasn't a dream, it had been real.

I got off the couch, careful not to wake Casey. I quickly showered and left the apartment, after leaving a note for Casey. I traveled the familiar path to the station, not paying any attention to where I was actually going. I arrived and quickly walked up to the squad room, sitting in my desk and looking reluctantly at the desk that had once been my partners. It was now cleaned and I was overcome with sadness. As quickly as the emotion had come, I buried it.

Munch and Fin arrived, looking at me with sympathy. Both exchanged greetings but neither was surprised when I didn't answer. The day was silent, all of us doing paperwork and no one speaking. It was mid-afternoon before anyone broke the silence.

"You know, all this paperwork. I swear the government is trying –" Munch began but was quickly cut off by Fin.

"Oh, don't start. If I have to listen to one more ramble about how the government manipulates our minds via paperwork, I'll shoot you."

"I'm just saying…" he was still talking but I lacked interest. Nothing seemed to interest me anymore. I was just numb, no emotion, no feeling, just an empty vessel.

Fin looked at Munch worriedly, when I made no effort to enter the conversation, which I had always done. I ignored him. I didn't need sympathy, I needed Elliot but he was over the other side of the country with his children, where he should be. He belonged there, not with me.

A few hours later, I left, heading home. I had not spoken today, and I had no intention of doing so. There did not seem to be any words to say. I arrived home, and seated myself on the sofa, sitting in the dark – reflecting on my memories of Elliot not knowing that on the other side of the country someone was doing the same. Before I feel asleep, I whispered, "I love you, El." Across the country someone whispered back, "I love you, Liv."


	4. Chapter 4

_Four years later _

I got up, startled by the ringing noise next to my bed.

"Stabler," I announced into the phone.

"Elliot," I heard a voice say. A voice I had not heard in four years.

"Don, what's going on? Why are you calling me?"

"Elliot, I need you to come back."

"What? Why? You know I can't do that."

"Elliot, it's Olivia."

My breath hitched, "What's wrong with her?" I asked with barely contained emotion. Regardless of her request, I had no moved on, I couldn't.

"She's broken Elliot. She's empty. She comes to work everyday, sits there doing paperwork. She doesn't speak unless she has to. She interview victims and interrogates perps but she's not the same. It's like she doesn't feel, she's numb." He paused, and I realized I was crying. I had not realized that my departure would be that hard on her.

Don continued, "A typical day for her is horrid. She gets here at 7, sits at her desk does her paperwork until I tell her there's a vic. She grabs her coat and leaves. After she interviews the vic, she comes back, gives her notes to us. She doesn't even say anything about them. We read her notes, and solve the case, occasionally with her help. Fin and Munch arrest the perp and Olivia interrogates. That's it. She's emotionless. She hasn't gone out with us in four years, doesn't talk to Casey anymore. I got her a new partner, within a week he was gone. Another new one, and another. Within a month she'd gone through 14 partner's."

I was crying, sobbing even listening to the voice of Don Cragen detail the life of Olivia now. "She's lost weight. She doesn't drink, doesn't eat. We almost force her to. You have to come back Elliot. She can't keep living like this." He said, and I heard him trying to stifle the tears he had.

"I'm coming. I'll be there tomorrow." I said into the phone, packing everything I needed. My kids were in College now, I didn't need to stay here anymore.

"Thank you, Elliot." I heard gratefully, before he hung up.

I got off the plane as fast as I could, a small bag of clothes under my arm. I scanned the terminal, looking for the face that I recognized to be Don Cragen's. I spotted it under a large EXIT sign. I quickly walked over to him, and when I reached him, he pulled me into a tight embrace.

"Thank you for coming." He said as we walked out.

"I couldn't not. Is that really what Olivia's like?" I asked, still not able to completely grasp the concept of Olivia so broken.

Don nodded sadly before saying, "After I drive you to the station, why don't you observe her for a while. You'll see I'm not exaggerating." I nodded, vowing to do that. Not that I didn't believe, but a part of me needed to see exactly how bad it was.

We arrived back at the station, that I had not seen for so long, and Cragen led me up the back stairs into his office. The blinds were down, and I slipped over to window and peered out at the pen.

Munch and Fin were just as usual, joking and laughing, though a continual worried expression clouded their happiness. Olivia's desk was almost void of anything personal. Only one picture remained on her desk. I recognized the frame and gasped. She kept it. The picture was of the both of us, on our first date. I had taken her out to one of the best restaurants in New York and we had had a fantastic time.

I saw a person walk through the door and sit down at the desk. I gasped at the realization that this was Olivia. My Liv! I barely recognized her. She looked tired, warn and completely dejected. She had frown lines deeply etched into her face and her eyes were dull, unlike the way I had remembered them. She looked at the photo and briefly her eyes lit up before she shook her head and looked down at her paperwork and her face returned to it's dull and saddened state.

"Liv," I whispered.

"It's been so hard to watch her like this. I suggested she call you, but she said that you had to be there for your kids. I'm really glad you're here."

I nodded and left the Captain' office, a determined expression on my face.

Munch and Fin first recognized me, and strolled over, both embracing me, whispering 'thanks' and 'good to see you's' to me.

Olivia didn't even look up at the commotion and seeing her expression closer up, I felt my heart break, seeing the sadness that enveloped her. I leant against her desk, and quietly said, "Livia,". Her head sprung up and she flung herself into my arms and sobbed.

"I missed you so much," she cried.

"I know," I whispered back, "I missed you too."

She clung to me tighter and sobbed into my shoulder, holding me as if she was afraid that if she let go, I would disappear. After a few minutes, I felt her relax her grip slightly and just lean into my embrace, her head nestled comfortably on my shoulder.

"What are you doing here?" What about your kids?" she asked.

"Kids are in college. Don called, he said I need to come back. I'm glad he called, Liv."

She nodded and tentatively reached up and pulled my lips to hers for a gentle kiss that quickly became more passionate, both of us savoring the feel of each other, something that we both thought we would never have again.

"Let's go." I said quietly, and Liv quickly grabbed her coat and we walked out of the precinct, still in synch with each other.

She drove us through the city, and we arrived at the apartment complex that I recognized. Walking into the apartment, I looked around, realizing that nothing was out of place since the last time I had been here. It was exactly as we had left it.

"I love you," she said gently as we snuggled together on the couch.

"I love you too," I whispered to her, burring my face in her hair.


	5. Chapter 5

_Epilogue _

Two weeks after Elliot returned, Olivia and Elliot married in a small garden ceremony. They had both decided that they had spent enough time apart and it was time to start their life together, forever. All the children had been present for the wedding and each had been overjoyed at seeing Olivia again and having her as a step-mother. Kathy had not been invited but there was the general message that she didn't approve.

Don had walked Olivia down the isle, while Casey and Maureen had served as bride's maids. Alex, the maid of honor. Dickie had served as best man, and Fin and Munch as grooms men. Their honeymoon had simply been a few days in hotel, enjoying the company of each other and relaxing together.

A few weeks later, Olivia had discovered she was pregnant. Michelle Olivia Stabler was born a week early but this didn't seem to have affected her health and mother and child were cleared to go home within a week after birth.

Almost a year later, Maureen had been married and was expecting. Casey and Fin tied the knot, as did Munch and Alex, earning many strange glances when they had announced their engagement.

The rest of the family, Kathleen, Dickie and Lizzie studied in LA, but visited regularly. A few years later, they had graduated and moved back to NY, leaving Kathy in LA with her husband and two children from her second marriage.

Olivia was now expecting a second child, but had found out she was having triplets. Two boys and a girl. Donald John, Alexandra Casey and Micheal Elliot were due in May and everything was looking good for the birth.


End file.
